Day 130 – continuing to survive

Several times the throughout this day, the mind and heart wanders to the basic existential question: after all what’s the point of continuing? What’s the big deal with future, passion, work, needs and desires when one sees the present is deeply threatened? Then one quaver towards the day doing what needs to be done in…

Day 121-129: May nature save us

It’s like I’ve almost abandoned the blog for last few week. Not yet. Last few weeks and still continuing- the dance of corona fatalities and infections around each one of us here. It’s beyond scary now, hearing friends and acquaintances losing their loved ones is nerve chilling. I can never understand death in that way….

Day 114-120 – Dignity in dying

Last 7 days felt like almost dying and reclaiming a living beings life again. For the beloveds beloved. This extreme healthcare madness and mismanagement of Covid-19 treatment from the central and the state governments on innocent working class public, not limiting to poor but middle class and upper middle class this time, whose fate is…

Day 109-113: when it’s one of us

The days of anxiety, uncertainty and fear. Of our dear ones friends families acquaintances, their state of health and mind impacting due to COVID-19. I do get panicked during such times as absolutely nothing is on my control or anybody’s. I feel I’m not in my senses when I worry and tend act as foreign…

Day 108 – one day at a time

See those flock of birds in the picture? How synchronised they seem while flying adding a charm to the sky and the beholder. Moderate day on the inside on a lazy Sunday. Was grateful for most part but anxious of the second wave of pandemic. Only thing in my control is my mind and how…

Day 107 – a light sun

A lighter day inside the head and being ready for life. Would like most days to be this way but it’s not in our hands. See, breathe and feel. Fully! Whenever I feel few moments of joy and gratification, I seem to miss my beloveds not being there. The heart wants to feel it along…

Day 106 – I can’t have it all but I do have my precious

As another dreadful week ends, one ponders how far or long one could go living the same life day in and day out; sort of complaining the current status quo (of course with the Corona cases rising high like last year) and wanting to break free from social and emotional lockdowns. Rich, poor, middle class,…

Day 101-105 – mid-month menopause

5 days flew in haze, last i found myself making vows for April and here it goes, almost half the innings are over. I wonder what consumes us so much more on a normal day of 24 hours that one barely gets a moment to pause and reflect! It’s a pity, an excuse of sorts,…

Day 100 – April Vows

This is special. The blog just made it to the 100th day with driving, walking and somehow crawling to the fence every night. Reminds me with the objective I started with to document the day with a picture and some few ordinary words. By being this anonymous blogger, I ended up sharing a lot about…

Day 99 – The hindsight awareness of March

So April is here! March is generally the most difficult month and it had been the case in the past also, when getting out of a messed up past. However one thing triumphs above all, and thats “love”. Be it finding a new one or reigniting the old and healing ourselves from our own mistakes….

Day 91-98 : Living with paralysis but love heals

My biggest problem is I can never accurately express or articulate either in spoken or written words is exactly what I feel. Have to chase others voices and words to find a relevance. This self feels a lot generally but fails to share. May be I’d live with this limitations and May be my dear…

Day 88, 89, 90: non existent

Burn outs, meltdowns, realisations, regrets, reading and trying to correct, disconnect, isolate, sink in, suffer, face it, fears, non existence, small, shame, guilt, silence, tiny steps.